On happiness

I've been thinking lately on what it means to be happy, but that type of happiness that can't fade away in troubled times like these, or in times of disappointment and suffering, and I've been meditating on these following verses :

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:3-10

There is nothing new under the sun, neither sickness, war, insecurity or wickedness and selfishness of people who bring suffering upon others. Nothing is new, and all these things are but the signs of life in a fallen world.
In the same way a disease is spreading around easily, so wickedness or love can do the same thing. It remains to choose between the two and what we want to spread around. Oh, I wish to be powerful enough to choose every day the things that bring happiness not only in my life but in the life of others... A constant prayer in my life has been (and it still is) to never let myself changed by the circumstances of life, the hard times or even the good times, to always have strong values and that kind of faith in God in the fact that He will make a way and it will be well somehow. I always wished to be strong enough to never let myself influenced or changed by the people around me. Of course, I'm not referring myself on that type of beneficial transformation that comes along with age and the stages of life that help us to evolve, I'm only referring to those kinds of choices we can make, that tear down innocence, faith and the strong values we have or considered we ever had.
I've read and reread this passage from Matthew which speaks about the way to eternal life, and also about the way to live our life on this earth, filled with joy, peace, protection and hope by faith in Jesus Christ.
The world we live in is a beautiful place, and it has been created to be like it for our personal joy and use. Life its a gift that cannot be taken back, but because it has been perverted by selfishness, wickedness, fear and carelessness, it has become what it is, a place where pain spreads easier than happiness and sickness more than the well-being.
When we wish for a change in the world, we must be conscious of the fact that the change we wish for begins with us in the first place. So, let us be the change we want in the world and not be conformed to the low standards that are around us at every step, but rise above them and have higher purposes and standards.

When we taste disappointment in our lives regarding the people we love or people from which we had great expectations and deceived us, or even if it's ourselves... our attitude has to be always 'love and forgiveness' because only in this way the world heals and we grow and heal too. Otherwise if we choose to act in the way people act when they bring pain we do nothing else than continuing to spread illness around us too. But, oh God, sometimes it is so hard to do that, so please, help me to have this strength in me to stop this pestilence of wickedness spreading around... by your love revealed to me every day, and give me the power to love without measure. In Jesus's name, amen.
The happiness I have IN Christ it's called HOPE, and the happiness I have THROUGH Christ is power and peace in all times, and this is exactly the definition of happiness, that one who never fades away.

Help me God to always search for this happiness and never be content with that kind of happiness that shines only on the outside...

Despre fericire
M-am tot gandit la fericire in ultima vreme, dar la acel tip de fericire care nu poate pieri niciodata, nici in vremuri tulburi ca acestea, nici in perioade de dezamagire, si am meditat la versetele urmatoare :
„Ferice de cei săraci în duh, căci a lor este Împărăţia cerurilor! Ferice de cei ce plâng, căci ei vor fi mângâiaţi! Ferice de cei blânzi, căci ei vor moșteni pământul! Ferice de cei flămânzi și însetaţi după neprihănire, căci ei vor fi săturaţi! Ferice de cei milostivi, căci ei vor avea parte de milă! Ferice de cei cu inima curată, căci ei vor vedea pe Dumnezeu! Ferice de cei împăciuitori, căci ei vor fi chemaţi fii ai lui Dumnezeu! Ferice de cei prigoniţi din pricina neprihănirii, căci a lor este Împărăţia cerurilor."
Matei 5:3-10
Nu este nimic nou sub soare, nici boala, nici razboiul, nici nesiguranta vietii, nici rautatea sau egoismul oamenilor, nici dezamagirea pe care o traim in anumite momente si care aduce multa suferinta in noi... nimic nu e nou, si cred ca toate acestea sunt parte a vietii traite pe pamantul acesta, pamant decazut din divinitate.
La fel cum o boala se raspandeste usor si se transmite unii la altii tot in acelasi fel se raspandeste ura sau dragostea. Ramane doar sa alegem intre cele doua, sa alegem ceea ce vrem sa raspandim in jurul nostru. Imi dorescsa fiu indeajuns de puternica in fiecare zi sa pot alege ceea ce duce la fericirea mea si a celor din jur pe termen lung... O rugaciune constanta in viata mea a fost mereu aceea de a nu ma lasa schimbata de vremuri grele, de circumstante, sau chiar de perioade in care imi v-a fi prea bine, si sa am mereu credinta ca o sa fie bine, ca El o sa gaseasca o cale sa fie bine cumva. Mi-am dorit mereu sa fiu puternica si sa nu ma las influentata si schimbata de oamenii din jurul meu. Desigur nu ma refer la cresterea si transformarea care trebuie sa aiba loc in viata noastra in mod constant in functie de perioadele prin care trecem si oamenii pe care ii intalnim, ci ma refer in special la tot ceea ce poate darama inocenta, credinta si valorile sanatoase pe care le avem, sau am considerat ca le-am avut vreodata.

Am citit si recitit pasajul de mai sus, si el vorbeste despre calea spre o viata binecuvantata fara de sfarsit, iar pentru trairea pe pamantul acesta este calea catre o viata plina de pace, bucurie, protectie si nadejde prin credinta in Hristos.

Lumea in care traim este un loc frumos, si asa a fost prevazut sa fie in inceputurile lui, iar viata este un dar vesnic ce nu poate fi luat inapoi, dar pentru ca ea este pervertita de molima rautatii, egoismului, a fricii si a nepasarii, ea devine ceea ce este, un loc in care durerea se raspandeste mai usor decat fericirea, si boala mai mult decat sanatatea.

Cand ne dorim o schimbare, trebuie sa constientizam ca schimbarea incepe cu noi in primul rand, si nu continuand sa traim conformandu-ne standardelor joase ce sunt mai pretutindeni in jurul nostru. Atunci cand gustam dezamagirea vis a vis de oamenii pe care ii iubim, sau chiar vis a vis de noi insine, atitudinea noastra trebuie sa fie mereu dragostea si iertarea caci doar in felul acesta se poate schimba lumea in care traim. Cand alegem sa actionam in modul in care oamenii actioneaza atunci cand aduc suferinta, nu facem altceva decat sa raspandim si noi boala la randul nostru... Nu e usor, dar te rog, Doamne, ajuta-ma Tu sa am aceasta putere in mine mereu, aceea putere de a impiedica molima rautatii sa se raspandeasca si prin mine. Dragostea Ta revarsa in mine ca sa pot iubi in orice vreme! Amin!
Fericirea pe care o am IN Hristos se numeste nadejde, si fericirea pe care o am PRIN Hristos este putere si pace in orice vreme si tocmai asta este fericirea adevarata, cea care nu piere ci se rasfrange in vesnicie.
Ajuta-ma Tu Doamne sa privesc mereu catre Tine, sa caut fericirea Ta vesnica si ajuta-ma sa nu ma multumesc niciodata cu acea fericire a caruia doar ambalajul straluceste... Amin

The white in me

This is my story, about how God revealed himself to me.

I can't remember a moment when God hasn't been present in my life, but I remember moments when I have lived as He wasn't. I was a child, and at the moment I've been aware of the fact that I exist, I knew God is the creator of everything. My beloved grandmother was a believer, and she was the one that has put in me the longing for God for the first time. Then my older sister happened to have a bible, from which she read constantly, and she told me many stories about Him. When I think more closely, I don't have in mind just one single moment in which God revealed Himself to me but there were years when He patiently answered my questions.
The longing of eternity has always been inside me, and I think there is in everyone, fact that is proving we have different roots from the monkeys.
Until I was about 16 years old, it was easy to believe, and faith come almost natural. But as I was growing up, things become more complicated. I've started to have access to all the colors of life, not only the ones from the bubble I was raised in. I was struggling with serious questions determinate by what I lived, read, and saw around. Those questions lasted for years, until I've had full light on them. I couldn't understand many of those rituals at church, and it seems that many people didn't, because their answer was always the same, “we do this or that because this is the way things must be done". Later I've found out that these traditions which are not bad in themselves, have nothing to do with the death and resurrection of Christ, which is the foundation of Christianity and the way to salvation.

The thing that brought up a great light unto my mind and started to clarify many things, was the diffrence between good and bad. I've started to pay attention on how people were living and compare their lives according to their choices. I was observing the wickedness and the goodness of their living and wondering what is determining them to act in a way or other. Doing so, after a while I've noticed how limited is the goodness of people that didn't know God, and how infinite is the love in those people who loved Him. The love of God in a human heart goes beyond the human power.

I would watch those people and see their love, their peace, their joy, the light within them, the attitude they had in the front of all the difficulties of life... they would never lose their hope and peace in hard times even if they were hurting. They were in fact conquerors over the waves of life. I'm not triyng to say that they were perfect, but there was something different in them comparing to those ho did not have God in their life. They were ready to humble themselves whenever they were wrong, and they were always striving to be better people.
So, behind the fact that He was answering my prayers, and saw His word and promisses coming to life, this is how I begun to believe God was real. Yes… by His work and power in those who loved Him, and by His love and power that was given to me.

I've begin to understand that He is like the wind, we cannot see it, but we can see all that it moves.

So after all those fights and questions, the peace came, and He revealed Himself to me in this simple way, in this simple journey of life ...it was like climbing a mountain to see the entire landscape from above. I started to see life with new eyes, and saw the beauty of God and how much He loves me. He created us with a total free will, to chose Him or not... this is why it is not that simple to believe in God, we must search, pray, and also fight against evil. But God has promised :

"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)

God is beyond religions, beyond a series of rituals that must be respected, God is love and life itself, and only when you embrace His life, you become realy alive, because only then you find out from where your true identity comes from.
I love God in a simple way, and I want that my life and my work to be a reflection of His life in me. I am not perfect, I make mistakes and say wrong things sometimes, but I know how much He transformed my life until now, and I know that "the day we plant a seed is not the day we eat its fruits". He is working in me to fulfil what He has started, to make me more like Christ until that day...when I will meet Him face to face.

Oh, joy! Oh the beauty of His white in me...

Albul din mine

As vrea sa povestesc despre felul cum Dumnezeu mi s-a revelat si mie.
Nu imi amintesc sa fi existat vre-un moment in care Dumnezeu sa nu fi fost prezent in viata mea, dar imi amintesc momente in care am trait ca si cum El nu ar fi fost. Eram copil, si inca din vremea cand mi-am constientizat existenta, am stiut ca Dumnezeu este Creatorul a tot. Bunica mea, care era credincioasa si cu un suflet frumos ca de aur mi-a povestit si mi-a insuflat aceasta nazuinta dupa Dumnezeu. Apoi, cea mai mare dintre surorile mele se intampla sa aiba o Biblie pe care o citea constant si din care imi mai povestea cateodata. Cand stau si ma gandesc nu am in minte doar un moment anume cand am primit o revelatie clara ca Dumnezeu exista, ci au fost fost ani intregi in care El mi s-a revelat in nenumarate randuri, raspunzand treptat la intrebarile si framantarile mele.
Dorul si aspiratia dupa absolut au fost mereu prezente in sufletul meu si cred ca este in toti oamenii, lucru care marturiseste faptul ca radacinile noastre sunt diferite de cele ale maimutelor.

Pana in jurul varstei de 16 ani mi-a fost usor sa cred, venea aproape intr-un mod natural, avand in vedere tot accesul la crestinism pe care il aveam. Lucrurile mai complicate si luptele au aparut mai tarziu cand am inceput sa am acces la toate culorile vietii si incepusem sa am intrebari existentiale serioase determinate de ceea ce traiam, citeam sau vedeam in jur.Intrebarile au durat ani la rand, cu perioade de credinta si necredinta. Citeam carti, citeam si din biblie, il cautam pe Dumnezeu… nu vroiam religie si atat, sau sa cred pur si simplu in ceva, vroiam adevarul. Nu intelegeam multe din ritualurile care se faceau in biserici sau la sarbatori, toate puse pe seama "ca asa se face" dar care nu aveau mai nimic crestinesc in ele. Mai tarziu am aflat ca toate acestea sunt traditii care nu sunt neaparat gresite in sine, dar nu au nimic de a face cu moartea si invierea lui Hristos, care este baza crestinismului si calea spre mantuire.

Ceea ce a adus o claritate mai mare in mintea mea si a inceput sa imi confirme tot mai mult existenta lui Dumnezeu a fost diferenta dintre bine si rau. Am inceput sa compar vietile oamenilor in functie de alegerile pe care le faceau. Observam rautatea dar si bunatatea lor, si ma intrebam ce ii determina sa fie intr-un fel sau altul? Observam binele si raul in general, si ma intrebam de ce e asa...

Dupa o vreme am vazut cat de limitata este bunatatea oamenilor fara Dumnezeu si pana unde poate duce, dar cat de nemarginita este bunatatea oamenilor in viata carora Dumnezeu este prezent. II priveam pe acesti oameni si vedeam masura cu care iubeau, vedeam pacea si bucuria pe care o aveau in orice vreme, ba chiar si in vremuri dificile si de suferinta. Ei erau defapt mai mult decat biruitori peste valurile vietii, si nimic nu parea se le rapeasca nadejdea si pacea, spre deosebire de cei care nu il aveau pe Dumnezeu ca sprijin al vietii lor. Am stiut atunci ca puterea de a trai astfel este o putere supranaturala pe care un om nu o poate avea prin el insusi. Aceasta putere era Dumnezeu.
Dincolo de raspunsurile la rugaciuni, dincolo de faptul ca promisiunile din biblie si cuvantul Lui care sunt vii si se implinesc, frumusetea si puterea pe care o vedeam manifestata in acei oameni m-a facut sa cred ca Dumnezeu este real.

Am inceput sa inteleg ca Dumnezeu este ca vantul, nu il poti vedea, dar poti vedea tot ce misca in jur.

Dupa toate luptele si intrebarile pe care le avusesem, a venit si pacea, si am primit si eu aceasta bucurie de a trai pentru El, aceasta dragoste pe care nici eu nu mi-o pot explica de multe ori. El mi s-a revelat si mie ca intr-o calatorie simpla, ca si cum m-as fi catarat incet pe un munte de unde sa pot vedea intregul peisaj. In felul acesta am ajuns sa cunosc frumusetea Lui Dumnezeu si sa constientizez dragostea Lui din viata mea.

Am fost creati cu o vointa libera sa il alegem pe El sau nu, si de aceea nu este atat de usor sa credem in Dumnezeu... trebuie cautare, rugaciune, dar si lupta impotriva celui rau care intotdeauna v-a incerca sa perverteasca adevarul lui Dumnezeu. Caci e mai usor sa crezi o minciuna pentru ca nu ai impotriviri, decat sa crezi adevarul pentru care se dau lupte reale. Dar dincolo de astea, in biblie exista o promisiune vie :

"Mă veţi căuta, şi Mă veţi găsi dacă Mă veţi căuta cu toată inima." (Ieremia 29:13)

Dumnezeu este dincolo de religie si ritualuri, Dumnezeu este dragostea si viata insasi, si numai atunci cand imbratisezi viata care vine din El, devii cu adevarat viu si tu, pentru ca abia atunci afli care iti este identitatea, de unde vii si icotro te indrepti.
Il iubesc pe Dumnezeu intr-un mod simplu, si imi doresc ca viata si arta pe care o fac sa fie o reflectie a vietii Lui din mine. Nu sunt nici pe departe un om perfect si uneori gresesc, dar faptul ca pot vedea lucrarea Lui in mine si felul cum m-a crescut si mi-a transformat viata pas cu pas, este o minune!
Oh bucurie negraita! Oh frumusetea albului Tau din mine...